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Tag: life

Windy

Published by Ondrej on April 5, 2021

Sometimes all we need is a helping hand
be able to let go of the daily swirl
quieten the inner cranial band
release the endless quotidian turmoil.

Imagine: the sandy beach by the North Sea
as the gale breaks you in
this is the place all ought to be
if they seek the elusive peace within.

The gust is much like on a peak;
that’s the roof of the world—and this by the base
these are the foundations we ought to seek
of the Earth’s true, heavenly riches but a taste.

I speak of this place fondly now I am sound
now that my mind is not clouded with worry nor ailment
but I was not so well a few hours prior, you would have found
but I visited and drew from the great natural ointment.

Such is my experience, that to all I propose
to visit some truly Earthly heaven:
the hills, the valleys, the lakes or meadows
the séjour will most certainly convert any heathen.

For the feeling of the true elements in your eyes
rendering your cheeks ruddy and silencing your sighs
the wind, sun, earth and rain bid all troubles whisked away
all I wish for is for all to enjoy these, come what may.

Title

Published by Ondrej on April 4, 2021

I am so overcome with emotion
I know not how to use this Earthly scribe
for within me there is much a commotion
one so difficult yet so simple to describe.

The longing for your heavenly proximity
does nothing but tear me apart
the desire for my gaze to fall upon your divinity
my heart pains as if pierced by many a dart.

So much inside me wishes for us to be
to be touching, laughing, gazing, smiling, understanding,
for now, alas, I know not what to do with me
except hope, pray, plead for your coming.

Do you know the internal turmoil of which I speak?
as I write here to an unknown, undiscovered recipient
there is so much but truly so little my heart and I seek
it is that to which all my subconscious is bent.

My conscious hides, files away this desire
for my flaws are far too many to pursue it further
it reasons that there is no good in taking it higher
there is little point in even attempting to imagine her.

But I know not what to do with my body nor soul
for that unmet, unknown her I wish to meet, to know;
I am aware what you and I think of me: a fool
for wishing life to be so simple to flow.

Your loving gaze, in a way, torments me:
your eyes of blue, green, hazel, amber jewel
your hair, a curtain or plaited—whatever it may be
all these images, in my mind so many a duel.

The faces of all those to whom I have been drawn before
blending in a spontaneous, whirling haze
I see you in all and in none once more
to whom am I, to whom are they, to whom are you directing your gaze?

My dearth of ability is such that to poetry I must turn
here, my vices, tics, inadequacies and oddities can hide
should these neural bridges be left to burn?
Or should I wait, hope, till you are by my side?

Who, but you, will douse the fires of temptation
or answer to my desires?
Who, but you, will I share intimate conversation
or dream of those places, those people to whom we aspire?

I am all and ready in an instant
to answer to you identically the same
for this will be no union of emotions distant
we will be indeed both to blame.

I look forward to the union of our hands in promenade
and our cheeks covered in fresh marmalade.
I look forward to the meeting of two immovable gazes
and the discovery of sacrosanct places.

Till then, the fire within me still burns
albeit covered, wherever I turn;
you, wherever you are, shall browse my dreams
looking gladly to when our lips seal all seams.

Flight

Published by Ondrej on April 3, 2021

It is a magical sensation, being above the clouds
possibly greatest of all human endeavours, achievements
Can you believe this hunk of metal soars alongside birds?
Oh, how many before us nurtured this in their dreams.

We must no longer dream of this feat,
it stands—it flies—before our very eyes;
crossing seas and oceans in a heartbeat
Bringing us to those with whom we forged ties.

Generations before mine dreamt of this
but dream we must no more;
instead, we look to the heavens for more bliss
we look to bring the planets closer than ever before.

What does the future bring? Space hotels or Star Wars?
For that is what happened with Flight
The richest have their flying bars
while the powerfuls’ jets are a deadly sight.

Who knows if we will live to tell this tale
of the milky white clouds below me
of the Milky Way and its gas balls burning pale?
Why worry? Look out of the flying porthole and see
the birds, the clouds, the world below you;
join their celestial freedom too.

A day at the A&E

Published by Ondrej on March 6, 2021

You came home, face ashen
a distant, hazy gaze
poured milk into your bowl of cornflakes
two hours before midnight.

The day was tough; at the hospital
I cannot fathom what you saw
your face’s shapes only say so much
seeing the dark side of humanity
for much longer than anyone should.

Your head’s spinning as you plunge the cold soggy mixture in
its tasteless, devoid of emotion zest
the bleak colours staring back at you
echoing the bleak day that you are trying to leave behind.

Gathering your thoughts as you try to answer my questions
but I nor you cannot comprehend
the thrill, the horror, the shock, the blood, the screaming, the sutures, the caring colleagues who also acknowledged this was too much for them, let alone for you, a budding doctor.

I ask myself—as you probably do tonight
can you leave behind this horrid sight?

An empathy drought

Published by Ondrej on March 3, 2021

It’s often that we forget
all trapped in our self-focussed thoughts
that we’ve all got these endless churning brains, yet
we are experiencing empathy droughts.

Our lives are interlinked and poignantly connected
she thinks of me just as I think of her
just not with the same frequency—not that mattered
anyway our lives are all too busy a-fluster.

And in a way this is a refreshing thought; we
are all human, all fighting our own battles
(and that’s a saying that stuck with me)
it’s okay when our soul sometimes rattles.

You and I don’t even know who thinks of us
let it be Her with golden locks and sapphire eyes
let it be Him with his charming manly hocus pocus
so don’t be afraid and wait before thinking, wait before saying your goodbyes.

Kaldbad

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

I took a bath in the open, frozen sea
in it, I could hardly feel
the fire inside me—nor could I foresee
the turmoil these emotions would seal.
I imagined your tender breast
resting here on my chest
while you and I thought of a place
as shining and bright as wide-open space
near the mountains or the ocean
there was love we’ve set in motion.
A kind of heavenly silence
pierced with the hot blast of love
we were serving the eternal sentence
joined by a restless dove.
Who would not leave us alone
—whose presence we couldn’t condone—
but he sat there for a long time
certainly longer than I swam in this frigid brine.

What else can I do?

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

Head is swimming
in emotional commotion
in emotional condemnation?
This moment I was trepidatious of
been dreading it for years
never been able to say those words
not sure I ever would.

Endlessly in my head they played
in circles round each other
like a car never exiting a roundabout
but this roundabout got progressively wider
and spiralled towards Hell
for it is that which I could feel
a hellish dread, a plague of self-doubt
of something never done before
a sickening, sinking feeling
for years, months, weeks on end
lodged in my head and not paying rent
was I predisposed to this? Perhaps. I don’t know. Nor do I want to.
Your past always follows you—riding shotgun.
But today, however much dread there was
it transpired—thoughts eventually precipitated
—that those words out I blurted—that I think you are beautiful—
and you didn’t run, nor frown nor grimace.
Your cheeks, bright as the sakura tree in full bloom,
a resounding standing ovation yes it was not, but a hinted, perhaps in the future once some dude you’re seeing is gone, kind of yes.
I’ll be waiting.
What else can I do?

The everyperson

Published by Ondrej on February 16, 2021

You, the everyperson
What are you doing today?
What’s on your mind?
What did you have for breakfast
and what’s for dinner?

What are you thinking as you look through the window?
It, in all its grimy glory
from the bus thundering past
life as still as frozen peas
as malleable as steel plate
where does your mind lead?

Are you thinking of the beautiful lady opposite
or perhaps the charming man you met yesterday
or more likely, what’s on offer at Lidl
and whether you’ve turned off the stove…
Does Nickelback or Chick Corea influence your thoughts?
Or is it perhaps Ms Austen?

Perhaps none of those;
perhaps it’s the man staring at you for the last eternity,
the man wondering
what you’re thinking
is staring right back at me.

Life happening over there

Published by Ondrej on February 6, 2021

A walk in the open air
breaths life into you
the sweet, rhythmic promenade
aids life commence anew.

Tis what I imagine now
staring from my grimy window
upon the dog-walkers
strolling in the meadow.

Perhaps I ought to join them
leave my loyal lair
or keep watching life
happening over there.

Thought

Published by Ondrej on February 1, 2021

Often I think I rush too much
Indeed, we all overthink, such
is the nature of our modern
society, making our minds churn.

Consider the good, the love, the warmth
that would and could spread henceforth
from our hearts, from all our smiles
if we all just stopped running miles
round in our brains—and just gave
a moment, forgetting thoughts we couldn’t save
we deserve, we all do
a profound breather, a break too.

Even hard-working God found
through rest Creation is bound.