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Tag: love

Imagining

Published by Ondrej on March 16, 2021

I imagine what it would be like
to kiss you goodnight
to drive away your inner demons
and hope you might, you would
you could come and live alongside my dreams.

But oh yes you already do
Who am I to say—make yourself at home
but you don’t know, do you?

Whose home you’re at, this heavenly dome
to you is but an illusion
as I kiss your tender cheeks
frosty from the winter; this cold seduction
warms my heart—for that’s what I seek
my soul brimmed with trepidation
As I know not where to look nor what to speak
to search for you in the valley or on the highest peak?

Kaldbad

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

I took a bath in the open, frozen sea
in it, I could hardly feel
the fire inside me—nor could I foresee
the turmoil these emotions would seal.
I imagined your tender breast
resting here on my chest
while you and I thought of a place
as shining and bright as wide-open space
near the mountains or the ocean
there was love we’ve set in motion.
A kind of heavenly silence
pierced with the hot blast of love
we were serving the eternal sentence
joined by a restless dove.
Who would not leave us alone
—whose presence we couldn’t condone—
but he sat there for a long time
certainly longer than I swam in this frigid brine.

What else can I do?

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

Head is swimming
in emotional commotion
in emotional condemnation?
This moment I was trepidatious of
been dreading it for years
never been able to say those words
not sure I ever would.

Endlessly in my head they played
in circles round each other
like a car never exiting a roundabout
but this roundabout got progressively wider
and spiralled towards Hell
for it is that which I could feel
a hellish dread, a plague of self-doubt
of something never done before
a sickening, sinking feeling
for years, months, weeks on end
lodged in my head and not paying rent
was I predisposed to this? Perhaps. I don’t know. Nor do I want to.
Your past always follows you—riding shotgun.
But today, however much dread there was
it transpired—thoughts eventually precipitated
—that those words out I blurted—that I think you are beautiful—
and you didn’t run, nor frown nor grimace.
Your cheeks, bright as the sakura tree in full bloom,
a resounding standing ovation yes it was not, but a hinted, perhaps in the future once some dude you’re seeing is gone, kind of yes.
I’ll be waiting.
What else can I do?

In want of warmth

Published by Ondrej on February 17, 2021

I imagine you next to me
Although I know not who you are
Searching for somebody to see
Together our world from afar.

You’d join me by Grieg
Travelling over the undulating musical landscape
This, the very antithesis of a Krieg;
Together, from reality we would escape.

The feeling of warmth has long since disappeared
It has now been much too long
You, whoever you may be, have not appeared
The birds have not made you part of their song.

An embrace can speak a thousand words
Well, here I am resorting to the pen
In absence of emotional innards
Hope? You might as well call me a heathen.

There shall be one day when with Grieg I am not alone
Know when this day will come, I do not,
Into the life of solitude, I have grown
Waiting for you to untie this knot.

Respect

Published by Ondrej on January 22, 2021

I write to you here in hope
with a right dose of sadness and a bigger one of gratitude
no trepidation to be seen.

You have walked miles round this town
many more, much further than any convention held you to go
I could see doubts swimming multifaceted
behind those glittering eyes
and I understood, I understand
I respect the respect you gave
and I hope that respect came across (I cherish it)
as you gazed at the heavens
this palindrome night
thoughts light-years away.

The dreadful “but”

Published by Ondrej on January 22, 2021

There comes a time in every evening
when you’re with a beautiful lady
who has piqued your interest
(and you hope you’ve piqued hers):

Either you go one step forward or two steps back;
the dreaded “you’re a nice guy”
and the dreadful “but”

Or the sweet tender kiss
and wide-smiled “I’d love to”

Two worlds precariously close
during times in the evening.

The fountain

Published by Ondrej on January 22, 2021

The fountain of emotion slows
now a torrent, not a hurricane.
It’s shouldering expectation
burdened by absent hope.

It too, thought,
from a pale mucky marsh
it’d become resplendent—
jets of love and care
shooting off towards the stars
blowing the Trevi out of the water.

Alas, mucky marsh it remains
gloopy staleness dripping
obscured by the past
clouded by the future.

Yet a glimmer of hope remains:
a single water-lily
among the soggy weeds.

Into the drain

Published by Ondrej on January 22, 2021

The lukewarm water
rubbed into my cheeks
time and time again
rushes away
washes away your smile
washes away your smell
bleaches your memory
as it tumbles away
into the drain.

Clouded stars

Published by Ondrej on January 21, 2021

The stars are out for you
your eyes shine brighter
Your golden locks shimmer
in the late winter breeze.

But I sense you distant,
behind that smile—
brumous thoughts hidden
clouding that smile.

I came here wanting nothing
but I came out wanting more
my heart yearns for loving
but it can yearn for you no more.

A cold January night

Published by Ondrej on January 21, 2021

Tonight, you were close
so close to touch—
and to touch back,
you hesitated.

Your perfume lingers
your smile coldens
what was once technicolour
is now truly grey.

But, I gave you respect
and you gave yours
even though we can’t be happy
thoughts out of reach
like children in a museum.