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Category: Love

These poems are a reflection of my and others’ emotional journeys across the undulating landscape of affection.

Hope

Published by Ondrej on November 23, 2021

It’s hard for me to write this
as I know not what you or I seek
but it’s my heart and yours I miss
even if they’ve had no chance to speak

I hope they will have one—
not just one, but a great many
I dream of beautiful places, some
you’d take me to, others about you’d tell me

This outpouring of emotion comes quite unexpected
as there was a lady before with whom there was none
there, a dearth of heartfelt I suspected
you, I’ve hardly met, but do you seem to be, could you be, the one?

All this feeling leaves me tumble dried after a storm
It almost gives me wanting to mope
or is it a new chapter being born?
I don’t want to give in to hope.

A free gym pass (1/2)

Published by Ondrej on November 22, 2021

It’s been many months since
—you could say “an elapsed ellipsis”—
I have felt like this towards
towards a most resplendent lady

And this time—despite having
caught the monarch butterfly migration in my stomach
I don’t feel paralysed
Excited, scared—good scared—maybe
But not petrified, worried or anxious
okay, maybe yes anxious

But she’s beautiful, she’s many things,
she is her—and that’s true beauty.
Check in with me next week. I hope to have an answer.

Worst case, it’s good to keep your heart pace up:
like at the gym but kostnadsfri!

Keep it coming

Published by Ondrej on November 18, 2021

Even on late evening mornings like this
I recall how truly fortunate I am
to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

Often, I am reluctant to go, to meet, to get out—
but why?
When I know I will be in excellent company
with my friends as dear as family:
what more is there to say?

Apart for thankfulness, gratefulness and more
I love my life—keep it coming!

Temporarily found (2/3)

Published by Ondrej on August 22, 2021

For months have I wondered
(the inner world)
looking this way and that,
into every fleeting, passing thing
into brief glances, briefer smiles
looking but not seeing
not feeling, not understanding
just passing.

Worrying about each and every one of those moments
and yet—there was an instant
not a dozen hours prior
in which, for the first time in weeks, even years
the emotions weren’t fleeting
nor were they leaving, nor are they now.

The harmony of all your features
not perfect, but just right
just as they should be—
that’s what made you so special.

For the first time in many a day
hope was kindled where hope was hidden
(not gone, but in hiding)
it came back, first trepidatious, then bounding!
…only to find your departure imminent…

I joked to myself that “I would move Heaven and Earth for her” only happens in poor soppy tragicomedies
For the first time (feels like maybe ever), that sentence, that thought occurred to me.

A fleetingly permanent emotion, perhaps,
true all the same.

A Norwegian Girl (1/3)

Published by Ondrej on August 22, 2021

I long struggled to find words to describe
the sheer bliss of gazing up into her eyes
no colour in the world is so crystal
not even brightly polished amber by the most skilful artisans
a blue so bright, so humble, so piercing
the crisp winter sky pales in comparison
this sky, such a radiant blue on a January day
with her, it is a bleached grey
such was her beauty
such was her poise.

Title

Published by Ondrej on April 4, 2021

I am so overcome with emotion
I know not how to use this Earthly scribe
for within me there is much a commotion
one so difficult yet so simple to describe.

The longing for your heavenly proximity
does nothing but tear me apart
the desire for my gaze to fall upon your divinity
my heart pains as if pierced by many a dart.

So much inside me wishes for us to be
to be touching, laughing, gazing, smiling, understanding,
for now, alas, I know not what to do with me
except hope, pray, plead for your coming.

Do you know the internal turmoil of which I speak?
as I write here to an unknown, undiscovered recipient
there is so much but truly so little my heart and I seek
it is that to which all my subconscious is bent.

My conscious hides, files away this desire
for my flaws are far too many to pursue it further
it reasons that there is no good in taking it higher
there is little point in even attempting to imagine her.

But I know not what to do with my body nor soul
for that unmet, unknown her I wish to meet, to know;
I am aware what you and I think of me: a fool
for wishing life to be so simple to flow.

Your loving gaze, in a way, torments me:
your eyes of blue, green, hazel, amber jewel
your hair, a curtain or plaited—whatever it may be
all these images, in my mind so many a duel.

The faces of all those to whom I have been drawn before
blending in a spontaneous, whirling haze
I see you in all and in none once more
to whom am I, to whom are they, to whom are you directing your gaze?

My dearth of ability is such that to poetry I must turn
here, my vices, tics, inadequacies and oddities can hide
should these neural bridges be left to burn?
Or should I wait, hope, till you are by my side?

Who, but you, will douse the fires of temptation
or answer to my desires?
Who, but you, will I share intimate conversation
or dream of those places, those people to whom we aspire?

I am all and ready in an instant
to answer to you identically the same
for this will be no union of emotions distant
we will be indeed both to blame.

I look forward to the union of our hands in promenade
and our cheeks covered in fresh marmalade.
I look forward to the meeting of two immovable gazes
and the discovery of sacrosanct places.

Till then, the fire within me still burns
albeit covered, wherever I turn;
you, wherever you are, shall browse my dreams
looking gladly to when our lips seal all seams.

Imagining

Published by Ondrej on March 16, 2021

I imagine what it would be like
to kiss you goodnight
to drive away your inner demons
and hope you might, you would
you could come and live alongside my dreams.

But oh yes you already do
Who am I to say—make yourself at home
but you don’t know, do you?

Whose home you’re at, this heavenly dome
to you is but an illusion
as I kiss your tender cheeks
frosty from the winter; this cold seduction
warms my heart—for that’s what I seek
my soul brimmed with trepidation
As I know not where to look nor what to speak
to search for you in the valley or on the highest peak?

Kaldbad

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

I took a bath in the open, frozen sea
in it, I could hardly feel
the fire inside me—nor could I foresee
the turmoil these emotions would seal.
I imagined your tender breast
resting here on my chest
while you and I thought of a place
as shining and bright as wide-open space
near the mountains or the ocean
there was love we’ve set in motion.
A kind of heavenly silence
pierced with the hot blast of love
we were serving the eternal sentence
joined by a restless dove.
Who would not leave us alone
—whose presence we couldn’t condone—
but he sat there for a long time
certainly longer than I swam in this frigid brine.

What else can I do?

Published by Ondrej on February 24, 2021

Head is swimming
in emotional commotion
in emotional condemnation?
This moment I was trepidatious of
been dreading it for years
never been able to say those words
not sure I ever would.

Endlessly in my head they played
in circles round each other
like a car never exiting a roundabout
but this roundabout got progressively wider
and spiralled towards Hell
for it is that which I could feel
a hellish dread, a plague of self-doubt
of something never done before
a sickening, sinking feeling
for years, months, weeks on end
lodged in my head and not paying rent
was I predisposed to this? Perhaps. I don’t know. Nor do I want to.
Your past always follows you—riding shotgun.
But today, however much dread there was
it transpired—thoughts eventually precipitated
—that those words out I blurted—that I think you are beautiful—
and you didn’t run, nor frown nor grimace.
Your cheeks, bright as the sakura tree in full bloom,
a resounding standing ovation yes it was not, but a hinted, perhaps in the future once some dude you’re seeing is gone, kind of yes.
I’ll be waiting.
What else can I do?

In want of warmth

Published by Ondrej on February 17, 2021

I imagine you next to me
Although I know not who you are
Searching for somebody to see
Together our world from afar.

You’d join me by Grieg
Travelling over the undulating musical landscape
This, the very antithesis of a Krieg;
Together, from reality we would escape.

The feeling of warmth has long since disappeared
It has now been much too long
You, whoever you may be, have not appeared
The birds have not made you part of their song.

An embrace can speak a thousand words
Well, here I am resorting to the pen
In absence of emotional innards
Hope? You might as well call me a heathen.

There shall be one day when with Grieg I am not alone
Know when this day will come, I do not,
Into the life of solitude, I have grown
Waiting for you to untie this knot.