A printer, a banal thing
all it does is prints, maybe scans
why is it so fascinating
when all the ink comes in cans?
The paper, it eats it
without a care for the world
and then it jams a bit
the reason, a bit of mould.
We should go back to the days of monks
they did a much better job
without wearing any socks.
Romeo and Juliet never met,
Shakespeare was a lie.
My cat is not a pet,
stop making that sigh!
Their relationship, a fraud
Like everything nowadays.
An example, Uncle Claude,
all he does is go on holidays.
His accounts, nothing to applaud:
setting stacks of cash ablaze.
But this fiery stack
doesn’t help Claude unpack.
Since he’s stuck on a ship,
he left the captain no tip.
His behaviour is appalling,
he should just be left there;
but then he wouldn’t stop telling
people about Shakespeare’s made-up pair.
I’m not tired
I’m wide awake.
With eyes bulging
and adrenaline rushing
sleep is no option to make.
I’d go flying,
But I have no plane
I’d start reading
But the sentences are too long.
I’m sitting,
not lying down.
Upright, back straight
or that’s what I think.
Glancing at the downy duvet,
the plump pillows,
the mellow mattress
I reflect.
Is this what I want?
To melt into its supple embrace?
But I’m not tired!
I won’t sleep.
I’ll conquer the world
become President
or an astronaut!
Tomorrow.
I sat on a great big carpet,
feeling like I was on a movie set.
With all the bright lights,
and the actors in fights
over who was the most in debt.
Eating shaving foam is my dream;
It makes me want to scream.
Some people think I’m mad,
I think it’s the new fad;
It tastes like whipped cream!
What is the point of a king?
All they wear is a head-ring.
Everybody listens to what they say
And then the people have to pay
And spend their time worshipping.
Do you know the genre named “blues”?
It’s got its special moves.
Some say it’s a type of jazz,
it’s got a similar type of pizazz
But both no longer feature in the news.
What is an art?
It could be a fart
Painting pictures is as easy
as lemons are squeezy…
…or maybe it’s a chocolate tart?!
Some people believe in a god,
others say he’s a cod.
They must all be mad;
I think it is rather sad;
All I can do is nod.