Is like a grey polyester blanket Cold from the outside Until you make the plunge Keeps the warmth in Keeps the colours out Envelopes all that walks, all that talks Until time elopes with all emotions And the grey blanket comes off revealing the colours we were too blind to see.
The rhythmic pat of the drum
and the soft touch of the piano keys
is all that’s truly stable
in a world that is abominable.
So much ill and suffering
has happened since I came here last
at least I have reassuring sound of jazz
as others elsewhere are called to heavenly mass
I wish she was here
to understand and to share my sorrow
together we’d gaze into the skies and see the moon
while breathing to the pangs of Clair de lune
Indeed, all that is stable in this world
is the sound of the piano, of kindness, of love
even if others strive for it to be smothered
human generosity and truth will prevail
All will be good in the end, they say
All that’s left for us to do is help and pray.
I imagine you next to me
Although I know not who you are
Searching for somebody to see
Together our world from afar.
You’d join me by Grieg
Travelling over the undulating musical landscape
This, the very antithesis of a Krieg;
Together, from reality we would escape.
The feeling of warmth has long since disappeared
It has now been much too long
You, whoever you may be, have not appeared
The birds have not made you part of their song.
An embrace can speak a thousand words
Well, here I am resorting to the pen
In absence of emotional innards
Hope? You might as well call me a heathen.
There shall be one day when with Grieg I am not alone
Know when this day will come, I do not,
Into the life of solitude, I have grown
Waiting for you to untie this knot.
I write to you here in hope
with a right dose of sadness and a bigger one of gratitude
no trepidation to be seen.
You have walked miles round this town
many more, much further than any convention held you to go
I could see doubts swimming multifaceted
behind those glittering eyes
and I understood, I understand
I respect the respect you gave
and I hope that respect came across (I cherish it)
as you gazed at the heavens
this palindrome night
thoughts light-years away.
The fountain of emotion slows
now a torrent, not a hurricane.
It’s shouldering expectation
burdened by absent hope.
It too, thought,
from a pale mucky marsh
it’d become resplendent—
jets of love and care
shooting off towards the stars
blowing the Trevi out of the water.
Alas, mucky marsh it remains
gloopy staleness dripping
obscured by the past
clouded by the future.
Yet a glimmer of hope remains:
a single water-lily
among the soggy weeds.
The lukewarm water
rubbed into my cheeks
time and time again
rushes away
washes away your smile
washes away your smell
bleaches your memory
as it tumbles away
into the drain.
There’s a felling I’ve been born with
winning the lottery as an only child
my stomach, an empty bottomless pit
a long, infinite cardboard tube
I’m endlessly falling down
that’s a feeling that’s with me
trying to claw its way out
like a flying moth, towards a light
but this light keeps drifting further away
and I’m this moth, stuck
in a world in which I don’t deserve to belong.
The stars are out for you
your eyes shine brighter
Your golden locks shimmer
in the late winter breeze.
But I sense you distant,
behind that smile—
brumous thoughts hidden
clouding that smile.
I came here wanting nothing
but I came out wanting more
my heart yearns for loving
but it can yearn for you no more.
Tonight, you were close
so close to touch—
and to touch back,
you hesitated.
Your perfume lingers
your smile coldens
what was once technicolour
is now truly grey.
But, I gave you respect
and you gave yours
even though we can’t be happy
thoughts out of reach
like children in a museum.
No, I never loved you
but I imagined I did
I imagined what it would be like
to be together
by the fireplace
reading books
I imagined what it would be like to
caress your cheeks
and caress your insides
But alas—imagine caressing no more
not even a tender kiss
Hope is lost—if it ever were there before.