Sometimes life’s happenings make you snicker, giggle, chuckle, smirk or just exhale particularly forcefully from your protruding facial appendage.
A printer, a banal thing
all it does is prints, maybe scans
why is it so fascinating
when all the ink comes in cans?
The paper, it eats it
without a care for the world
and then it jams a bit
the reason, a bit of mould.
We should go back to the days of monks
they did a much better job
without wearing any socks.
Romeo and Juliet never met,
Shakespeare was a lie.
My cat is not a pet,
stop making that sigh!
Their relationship, a fraud
Like everything nowadays.
An example, Uncle Claude,
all he does is go on holidays.
His accounts, nothing to applaud:
setting stacks of cash ablaze.
But this fiery stack
doesn’t help Claude unpack.
Since he’s stuck on a ship,
he left the captain no tip.
His behaviour is appalling,
he should just be left there;
but then he wouldn’t stop telling
people about Shakespeare’s made-up pair.
I’m not tired
I’m wide awake.
With eyes bulging
and adrenaline rushing
sleep is no option to make.
I’d go flying,
But I have no plane
I’d start reading
But the sentences are too long.
I’m sitting,
not lying down.
Upright, back straight
or that’s what I think.
Glancing at the downy duvet,
the plump pillows,
the mellow mattress
I reflect.
Is this what I want?
To melt into its supple embrace?
But I’m not tired!
I won’t sleep.
I’ll conquer the world
become President
or an astronaut!
Tomorrow.
My beard has grown long,
many protein-made appendages;
it was quite a bodily throng.
We can listen to Dire Straits
and scribble on tree derivatives.
We have not yet met our fates
and we shouldn’t see our relatives.
This is a time for family unity
except, from a distance
and perhaps worshipping a deity.
It provides much-needed resonance
in a house, now a community.
Meet your friends, can you not;
only through a digital medium
can you see their untidy cot
while they’re playing games marked “freemium”.
Who knows how long this will last;
at least I’ve got time to fantasise
about all the ladies I’ve made aghast.
I sat on a great big carpet,
feeling like I was on a movie set.
With all the bright lights,
and the actors in fights
over who was the most in debt.
Eating shaving foam is my dream;
It makes me want to scream.
Some people think I’m mad,
I think it’s the new fad;
It tastes like whipped cream!
This pen is rather nice
I’d say it will suffice
You can sketch, draw and write
It’s like flying a kite
Or eating pies.
What is the point of a king?
All they wear is a head-ring.
Everybody listens to what they say
And then the people have to pay
And spend their time worshipping.
Do you know the genre named “blues”?
It’s got its special moves.
Some say it’s a type of jazz,
it’s got a similar type of pizazz
But both no longer feature in the news.